


Letters From No Where

by Destialforever



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: BAMF Hermione Granger, F/M, Good Draco Malfoy, Good Narcissa Black Malfoy, Good Parent Narcissa Black Malfoy, Good Severus Snape, Hermione Granger is a Good Friend, Light Bondage, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Snarky Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:28:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 11,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destialforever/pseuds/Destialforever
Summary: The war is over and Draco needs to come clean with Harry.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Severus Snape/Ron Weasley
Comments: 41
Kudos: 39





	1. Apologies

Harry looked up at the tapping noise and saw an owl at the window.  
He took the letter and gave it a treat.  
He was shocked to see who it was from..

I’m sure you’ll notice Potter there’s no heading on this letter.  
I realized when I started writing that we’ve never had what one would call normal correspondence.  
I tried many different versions..  
Potter  
Harry  
Dear Scarface  
Idiot who won’t die  
None of them seem right anymore...   
I have no idea what to call you now that the war is over.  
So i’m just not putting anything at all….Now as to why i’m writing.  
I wanted to thank you , you didn’t have to speak on my behalf or my mothers.  
I apologize for all the issues I've caused over the years of our acquaintance.  
Don’t get me wrong you’re guilty of being a git to...we both were.  
But we were kids and now we’re not.  
The Ministry pardoned me but you knew that already I'm sure.  
They did try and take all of our assets but I have a very good lawyer.  
So I made a deal with the M.O.M. They leave our stuff alone and mother and I both leave the country.  
With a ban of a minimum of 10 years mandatory.  
I can almost hear you now Saint Potter  
‘That’s not right...they can’t do that...don’t worry i’ll fix it.’  
Calm down and leave it alone.  
It’s done and we’re both ok with it.  
I may have been pardoned but this world isn’t willing to let me live in it peacefully.  
I was going to leave anyway. So i won’t be back to finish school with all of you.   
I was given permission to go ahead a sit for my N.E.W.T.S and I didn't do too bad.

I’m sure Granger & Weasley will be reading this as well so here it goes  
I’m Sorry for everything …  
That’s it that’s all you get.

I hope you all have a good year at Hogwarts.  
Don’t bother to write back by the time you receive this. I'll be gone .  
And since i’m not sure where i’m even going there’s no sense in sending a poor bird out to hunt me down.  
Take care of yourself Potter..

Yours,  
Draco Malfoy

Harry smiled as he read the letter.  
Still a snarky git.  
“Harry what are you reading?” Hermione asked  
He laughed “Malfoy wrote me a letter.” he said  
“What?” she asked   
“Yeah and it’s actually kind of nice.” Harry said sounding a bit surprised  
Hermione came over and Harry handed her the letter.  
“Huh well he is right we’re not kids anymore.” she said smiling  
Harry took the letter back and decided to put it away for safekeeping.  
“Take care of yourself Malfoy...wherever you are.” harry said to himself


	2. Admissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco decides to share his real reason for being a git all those years.

Hermione went back to the Burrow leaving Harry alone with just Kreacher.  
There was another tap on the window.  
“Huh another letter.” harry said  
He opened the letter and smiled…  
Another letter from Malfoy.

Dear Harry ,

I started not to send this. Oh hell who am I kidding I started not to write it at all.  
I heard once that sharing is good for your soul or maybe that was chicken soup i don’t remember.  
So I am going to share something with you that i’ve never shared with anyone.  
The real reason I was such an ass to you.  
I was hurt and jealous.  
I saw you at Malkins that day in the alley before I knew who you were.  
And I didn’t see the great Harry Potter.  
I saw a gorgeous dark haired boy with the prettiest eyes i’d ever seen.  
I was too young to understand what i was feeling but i realized what it was as i got older.  
Love….love at first sight.  
So I peacocked and tried to make myself look fancy.  
All to get your attention.  
And then you picked Weasley over me and I was crushed.  
So i acted out...it was all just me trying to get you to pay attention to me.  
But sadly it was never the attention I wanted.  
Pulling pigtails i believe some would say.  
I suppose I feel comfortable telling you this cause I'm leaving.  
I don’t have to fear rejection cause I won't be around.  
That day, the last day i saw you at the Ministry i wanted to run up to you and wrap my arms around you.  
Just feel you one time...just once.  
But i didn’t feel like getting hexed.  
I know you’re with young weaselette and don’t feel anything for me.  
Well except perhaps pity.  
But I need to move on and I can't do that until I clear my heart of this.  
Until you know.   
So that’s why I finally decided to send this.  
I have decided to just travel randomly for a while to see if I can find somewhere that feels like home.  
Or perhaps someone that feels like home.  
I really do wish you the best Harry.  
No matter what you will always be my first real love.  
I want you to know that.  
You always wanted people to see you and not the boy who lived or the great Harry Potter.  
Well i see you...the real Harry.  
Someone sees you and I have for years.  
That’s why I've loved you so deeply for so damn long.

Good Bye My Love  
Draco

P.S.  
Hermione please take care of him...you know he’s hopeless at doing it himself.  
I’d ask Ron but let’s be honest he’s hopeless as well.

Hours later Hermione and Ron walked back into the kitchen of Grimmauld Place only to find Harry sitting on the floor with his back against a kitchen cabinet.  
Tears streaming down his face.  
“Harry what’s wrong?” hermione asked kneeling in front of him  
He just handed her the letter.  
“Hermione what is it?” Ron asked  
Hermione had tears come to her eyes as she reached to hug Harry.  
“Oh Harry i’m so sorry.” she said crying  
“I never knew...I didn't know he loved me back. And now he’s gone.” harry said crying fresh tears  
“Damn” Ron said he knew who he meant.  
He didn’t understand why Harry loved the git but he did and he was a good friend.  
So he’d stand by him no matter what.  
Ron sat down on the floor beside Harry and wrapped his arm around his heartbroken friend.


	3. Madly Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco doesn't like the tropics.

It had been two weeks since Malfoys letter admitting he loved him.  
They had been rough weeks for Harry.  
Hermione and Ron stuck close.  
Apparently deciding to do as Draco asked and watch after their friend.  
…-Tapping-....  
Harry looked up and saw a rather odd looking bird at the window.  
“Harry what’s wrong?” Hermione asked walking in and seeing the strange look on his face.  
She followed his gaze to the odd bird in the window.  
“What on earth?” she said  
She walked over and let the bird in.  
Taking the letter she saw it was addressed to Harry  
“It’s for you.” she said handing it to him  
Kreacher was feeding and watering the bird.  
Harry opened the letter slowly and almost passed out seeing who it was from.  
“Harry?” she asked  
“It’s from Draco.” he said smiling  
Hermione smiled back at him.  
She watched him start to read and decided to give him some privacy.  
She’d go tell Ron the news.

Harry ,

Do you know what I've realized?  
I hate the traveling part of traveling.  
Oh I like it when I arrive and can relax but actually getting somewhere .  
Well that’s a pain in the ass.  
I hope you and the dynamic duo are all doing well.  
I’m fine...it’s bloody hot here.  
Go to the tropics Draco it’ll be fun.  
Bollocks that i wasn’t made for this weather.  
I’m too fair skinned...i have a horrid sunburn.  
I also haven't been sleeping….and that’s your bloody fault.  
Admitting my feelings was supposed to make me feel better.  
I was supposed to be able to move on from this .  
But no not me...i’ll be old and grey and still madly in love with you.  
Asshole!!  
Why the hell did you break up with Ron's sister?  
And why in the hell have you spent the last two weeks looking like crap and all sad?  
I still hear gossip.  
Well you can’t answer the questions because i have no clue where i’m going next.  
Never go to the tropics Potter. It’s too hot and sunny.  
Be nice to the bird he flew a hell of a long way to deliver this letter.  
Poor thing...

Yours Eternally   
(that’s forever you asshole)  
Draco

P.S.  
Granger what the hell?? You’re supposed to be looking after him.  
You know he can barely feed and clothe himself.  
Not to mention the fact that he has no common sense   
Or sense self preservation...  
Get to work for Merlin's sake woman!!

Hermione walked into the kitchen to see a sight they had sorely been missing.  
Harry was laughing.  
“What’s so funny mate?” ron asked looking puzzled but pleased  
“He’s mad at me” harry said smiling  
“Why are you happy about that?” ron asked  
“He loves me . He still loves me.” Harry said holding the letter out to Hermione  
Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes.  
“Well he’s right you are helpless. I am only one person. I can only do so much.” she said acting put out  
In truth though she was so very glad he wrote again.  
“You think he’ll keep writing?” Harry asked  
“He may….i hope he does Harry.” Hermione said hugging Harry  
“Me too mate.” ron said patting his back  
Harry nodded walking out of the room to go put the letter away.  
“Forever huh? I’ll take it Draco.” harry said


	4. Frustration Thy Name Is Potter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry may be losing it just a bit...  
> Hermiones definatly losing it...  
> Ron already lost it...but it's ok cause i doesn't remember having it.

It’s been a month since Draco's last letter and Harry was going nuts.  
Where was he? Was he ok? Was he sick or hurt?  
He was driving everyone insane .  
He spent a lot of his time pacing and looking for birds.  
“Harry seriously calm down. I’m sure he’s fine.  
He’s probably in a more muggel area with no owl post available.” hermione said  
“It’s been a month, Hermione...a month. Maybe i should go look for him.” harry said  
“No schools about to be back in….he’ll write Harry just be patient.” she said  
Two more weeks go by and Hogwarts is officially starting back.  
Harry made it through the feast alright.  
But by the next morning he was jumpy again.  
And then the mail came.  
And with it a very strange bird…  
“Is that a brown booby bird?” Hermione asked   
The bird swooped down and landed in Harry’s plate.  
“YES!!” Harry cheered  
Ron reached over and took the letter off and handed it to Hermione so she could clean the eggs off of it.  
Then Ron removed the plate and bird from Harry's place at the table.  
“Here Harry it’s pretty clean now.” she said as Harry grabbed it  
She just shook her head.  
She looked up as Harry started to laugh.  
She glanced at Ron to see him trying to clean eggs and jam off the bird's feet.  
“You’re a very messy bird..do you know that? Stop eating my hair. “ Ron said while having a conversation with the bird.  
Omg this place is mental she thought

Harry Potter , 

What the hell is wrong with you?  
Where is Granger ? She’s supposed to be taking care of you. I left her in bloody charge of your helpless ass.  
Do you know I will be 28 before I can come back there and punch you in the damn face.  
I would ofcourse kiss it better after I punched you but still...  
What is going on with you?  
I get stuck in a muggle area with no owl post for a while.  
Then when I get back to a magical area your face is on the cover of several papers where they’re questioning your sanity.  
Heckle and Jeckle are supposed to be taking care of you.  
What do I have to do everything my own bloody self??  
I am very close to contacting my lawyer and telling him I have to come back and making him work it out.  
Savior of the wizarding world my happy ass.  
I swear to god I will send you a howler Harry James Potter!  
If it wasn’t for the fact that i can’t afford to lose everything to the damn Ministry i’d already be back there getting you in line.  
You are so frustrating !!  
On another note Polinesia is lovely.  
But i am happy to be leaving….Be nice to the bird he’s a bit clumsy.

Yours Frustratingly Forever ,  
Draco

“I have to go” Harry said jumping up  
“No you don’t classes start today. Harry James Potter where are you going?” she yelled  
“He says he needs to take care of me because you're useless but he can’t come back. Not until he’s 28 Hermione. I have to fix it” Harry said  
“No, Harry, he told you to stay out of it.” hermione said  
“I can’t ….although you were right about not being near an owl post but i have to do something.” harry said turning to run out  
“HARRY” hermione yelled  
Harry ran back in “I need a lawyer that will make the ministry cry….anyone?” harry asked  
“Dracos lawyer's name is Findrakes In Diagon Alley.” Snape called out from the head table  
“Yes ! Thank You professor.” Harry called as he turned back around to run out.  
“Ron we have to go...ron leave the bird alone” hermione said  
“But it’s still dirty” ron said  
“We have to go catch Harry…” she said  
“But…” ron started   
Hermione went over and gently picked up the bird and sat it by Neville .  
“Neville please take care of the bird. Ron we’re going...now!” she said  
“Ok “ neville said  
Ron was following Hermione  
“I swear to god it’s like running an asylum and all the inmates are out of their cells.” she ranted   
“Where are we going again?” Ron asked  
“Shut up Ronald!!” Hermione said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just had a weird idea that runed into this...  
> Hope everyone likes it.


	5. Of Birds And Behaviors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's in trouble

One week later…..

“Ok Harry, remember what the lawyer said. He’ll handle it with Malfoy.  
And you are to stay out of it...completely!!” Hermione lectured him  
Harry had his head down on the house table in the great hall.  
“But that’s going to take so long.” Harry said not picking his head up  
Then the mail started to come in…  
Gasps and surprised noises started…  
“Um Harry, I think you have mail.” Neville said  
“Where??” Harry shot up excitedly  
Not long after a Toucan dropped a letter in front of Harry then landed on Ron's head.  
“Oh My…” Headmistress McGonagall exclaimed  
“Oh Harry you better open it you know what happens with a howler if you don’t.” Hermione said  
Harry slowly opened the howler

…..----POOF--......

HARRY JAMES POTTER HAVE YOU LOST WHAT LITTLE MIND YOU HAD LEFT!??  
I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU WOULD GO TO MY LAWYER BEHIND MY BACK….  
YOU WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING OF THE SORT AGAIN…  
AND IF I FIND OUT WHO TOLD YOU MY LAWYERS NAME I’LL CHOP THEM UP AND USE THEM FOR POTIONS

(Everyone turns to look at Professor Snape)

I DON”T KNOW WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO YOU RECENTLY BUT IT WILL STOP…  
DO YOU HEAR ME GRANGER!!   
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ADULT IN CHARGE I TOLD YOU THAT…  
I TRUSTED YOU TO TAKE CARE OF HIM…. DO BETTER!!  
On another note Costa Rica is lovely but I don't care for the food .  
I’m leaving from here today..  
Also be careful giving the bird rich foods. I found out the hard way it doesn’t end well...  
BEHAVE POTTER!!  
Seriously if i wasn’t so in love with you i’d strangle you…

Take care of yourself and make sure you eat right .  
Draco

(flutter of paper as it tore itself up)

Harry looks over at Hermione and she’s sitting there with her arms crossed.  
And her eyebrow raised glaring at him.  
“I’ll be good.” Harry said quietly  
“EWWWW” Ron said rushing out of the great hall with what looked like bird barf running down his back and a bird on his head.  
Hermione just put her head in her hands .


	6. Curious Creatures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dracos starteing to put things together.  
> Also Ron needs to leave the birds alone...

Two Weeks….

Harry had been true to his word he’d been staying out of trouble.  
He’d even been trying to listen to Hermione better when she told him to eat or to get some rest.  
He hadn’t gotten any new letters from Draco since the howler.  
Hermione told him not to worry but he couldn’t help it.  
He spent all these years loving him and now he knows he loves him back.  
He just wants him here.  
Mail time…  
Gasps and people pointing up…  
“Hey Harry….Mail” Seamus called to him  
He looked up and saw a large pink bird flying towards their table.  
It landed in the middle of the table right in front of him and held out it’s really long leg.  
Harry reached out and took it off.  
“Thank you….please help yourself to some food. Whatever you want.” he told the bird  
He watched the bird nod then walk down the table to a plate of kippers.  
He opened the letter...yes it’s from Draco.

Dearest Idiot Who For Some Reason I Love ,

I hope you are behaving...thankfully I haven't heard anything to say otherwise.  
So Far…  
Florida is odd...Did you know this Disneyland place is being run by house elves?  
It’s strange none of the muggles seem to notice them.  
Although they keep singing about dwarves.  
There’s also lots of mermaids in the waters here.  
I am leaving Florida and traveling to Louisanna.  
I’m curious about the magical areas there.  
I’m not going to stay long just a day to look around and do some shopping.  
I was out walking and saw this shirt in a store window.  
It reminded me of you. It was the same color as your eyes.  
I’ve been thinking alot about what my lawyer told me you said when you went to his office.  
It almost sounds like you fancy me as well Potter…  
Otherwise why would you be so interested in getting me back.  
I of course bought the shirt. It looks lovely on me.  
I also got a tattoo of a small black snake with vibrant green eyes.  
I may let you see it at some point….granted it’s in a rather sensitive location.  
So you may need to beg….  
(Harry made a whining noise)  
I haven’t heard anything else from my lawyer when I do. I'll ofcourse update you.  
Do be careful of the bird apparently if it gets comfortable it will never leave.  
Also it snaps sometimes…  
Also just in case you are interested….While i’m writing this letter im completely naked…  
(Harry choked on his pumpkin juice and started coughing)  
Have a lovely day !

Entirely Yours ,  
Draco

P.S.  
Granger ,  
Keep up the good work….apparently something is working.  
Remember you’re in charge!  
Also maybe don’t let Ron around the birds anymore..

“Harry are you alright?” Dean asked   
Harry was staring into space……  
Hermione grabbed the letter and read it.  
“Oh good grief...He’s fine !! And apparently already well trained.”she said shaking her head  
“Ron leave the bird alone you’re going to make it sick.” she said, looking over at Ron who was feeding the flamingo pancakes.  
“But it likes them ‘Mione” he said as the bird leaned in and nuzzled his head right before it bit him.  
“Come on Harry , Ron we have class” she said walking out of the great hall. They both got up and followed her but so did the flamingo.  
Oh well….whatever she thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No clue where i'm going with this one.  
> But it's fun to write.  
> I hope everyone likes it so far.


	7. Bossy By Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron stop feeding the birds muffins..  
> Everyone go take a nap!

Two Weeks Later….

Everything was pretty quiet at Hogwarts.  
The rebuilding was still going on….  
Harry was getting used to waiting for letters.  
Hermione keeps preaching patience to him.  
“Blimey….definitely for you Harry..” Seamus said  
Oh yeah mail …  
A box was dropped in front of Harry by a large blue-grey bird  
“Oh it’s a heron...interesting.” hermione said watching the bird  
“Please help yourself to whatever you want to eat or drink.” Harry said to the bird.  
“I think Draco might be in Australia this time.” Hermione said  
Hermione turned and saw Ron holding up a muffin for the bird.  
“Omg Ron don’t feed it that...You’ll make it sick.” she said

Dear Lovely Bane Of My Existence ,

I will never come to Australia again...did you know they have something called spider season.  
Seriously huge webs everywhere…  
And they have crabs that just swarm...it’s insane!!  
That’s not even everything...this place is deadly.  
I was going to stay for a week but there’s no way I'm staying now.  
Forget that...i did not survive a dark wizard just to be killed on vacation.  
I talked to my lawyer...and he’s had a word with the Minister.  
He may have mentioned that you were upset about being parted from me. {I’m laughing at the wording}  
My lawyer told him that if we couldn’t work it out for me to come back and still keep my assets you may be moving away.  
So FYI if the M.O.M. contacts you that’s why.  
My lawyer said the minister looked like he was going to cry.  
Merlins balls Potter the effect you have on people….  
Granted the thought of your balls has a very profound effect on me to be sure…  
(Harry choked on his eggs)  
Mind you not as profound as the thought of your cock but still.  
(Harry makes a strange mewling noise...freaks out the table)  
(Harry are you alright...Hermione asked)  
Well this is a short letter since i need to leave the death zone.  
You will find a package attached to this letter.  
I bought you a present and no it’s nothing kinky.  
Although i am open to that type of thing..  
(Harry Stop hitting your head on the table- hermione)  
It’s nothing overly exciting. It's a koala bear blanket but it is so very soft.  
This is my very unsubtle way of saying take a nap.  
Trust me if i get to come back there you’ll want to be well rested.  
Just saying...  
Oh and watch out for the bird he kicks..

Frustratingly Yours ,  
Draco

P.S.   
Granger please stop letting Ron feed the birds. I've been getting letters about it. What in Merlin's name did he feed the booby??  
Also he has to give the flamingo back….he can’t just kidnap the post birds.  
Please make sure Harry eats you know how he gets.

“Harry are you ok?” hermione asked  
“Yeah i’m fine” he said  
“Can i see Draco's letter please..i’m sure there’s a message for me.” she said  
Harry handed over the letter while eating..  
“Ahhh now i see it….So Harry what are you doing after breakfast?” she asked already knowing the answer  
“I’m feeling a bit tired i thought i’d take a nap...Draco got me a blanket.” he said  
“Sneaky git Malfoy!! “ she said quietly  
“Sounds like a great idea Harry….Ron where’s the flamingo?” hermione asked  
“What flamingo??” ron said while feeding the heron a donut  
“NO we are not doing that today Ronald...You can’t kidnap post birds.  
And stop feeding them junk food.” she said  
“But ‘mione…” he started  
“Ronald Bilius Weasley I said no ! Now give the flamingo back !! And stop feeding the heron donuts.” hermione said   
“I’m going to go back to my room...you know since it’s the weekend i think i may just relax . Stay in bed except for meals.”He said  
“Wonderful Idea Harry. We’ll let you know when it’s time to come eat.” hermione said  
Hermione couldn’t help but wonder how much trouble Ron would get into if she went back and took a nap herself.  
And did she care???


	8. Of Cowboys And Critters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drcao has a bit of trouble doing an errand for Hermione  
> And Snape is in over his head with Hermione.

An Interlude With Snape & Hermione

One Week Later…

“What kind of birds are those?” Neville asked pointing up  
“Oh those are buzzards Neville...Don’t get your hands close to them.” Hermione said  
“Oi Harry mail..” Seamus called  
Everyone watched the two large birds fly in only one dropped a howler in front of Professor Snape.  
And the other landed in front of Harry  
“Oh my Severus….I believe he found out.” Pomona said

…..--POOF--.....

Dear Uncle ,

YOU BLOODY BASTARD WHY IN MERLINS NAME WOULD YOU HELP HARRY DO STUPID THINGS.  
YOU GAVE HIM MY LAWYERS NAME KNOWING HE HAS NO SELF RESTRAINT WHAT SO EVER  
AND ALWAYS FINDS TROUBLE…..  
IF HE GETS HURT BECAUSE OF YOU GIVING HIM INFORMATION HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T NEED I’LL CHOP YOU UP AND DROP PIECES OF YOU ALL OVER THE UK.  
On another note in the enclosed package you’ll find potion ingredients from the southern states in America.  
I included that one from Louisiana .  
FYI i’m not allowed back in Louisiana , don’t ask!!

Your Loving Godson,  
Draco

P.S.  
Granger, are you sure you want to do this??  
Points for effort darling….

…...WHOOSH….

Everyone was watching Snape as he removed the package from the large bird.  
It made a hissing noise at him and lunged slightly.  
“Are you going to open your package Severus?” the headmistress asked  
“No he’s hexed it….i’ll wait till i can open it safely.” Severus said watching the bird who had moved closer  
“Do you need help with the bird Professor?” Hermione called up to the head table  
“No Miss Granger i am completely capable of dealing with birds...thank you.” he said  
Hermione muttered “Highly bloody unlikely considering your track record.” she huffed  
Snape looked over at he sharply  
“What was that Miss Granger?” he asked   
“Oh you bloody heard me you git!.” Hermione yelled to him  
Everyone gasped and was watching them  
“Severus is there something you need to tell me?” Minerva asked  
“No” he said  
“Too bloody right there isn’t.” hermione said  
Seveus could feel his eye twitch  
Professor Snape got up and strode out of the hall pausing at the table Hermione was at.  
“Detention Miss Granger...after dinner do not be late.” he said with a smirk  
“Of Course sir...if you think you’re up to it. You know at your advanced age.” She said smiling sweetly  
He made a stressed noise and stormed out .  
“Did he growl at you??” Dean asked  
“Pay him no mind he’s just in a snit.” she said  
Everyone looked at her like she was crazy...

Back To Harry….

“Ummm Hermione, he may not need help but I do. My bird won’t give me the letter and it just tried to bite me.” harry said leaning away from the bird  
The bird was leaning in and hissing at him…  
“Immobulus” hermione said stilling the bird  
“Thank you” harry said reaching for the letter and package  
“What do we do with the birds?” Neville asked as the other one landed on the table in front of him hissing  
“Oh dear Merlin '' Hermione said, then swished her wand sending the birds back to wherever they came from.  
The table sighed in relief

My Handsome Snake Charmer,

Well I can't ever go back to Louisiana . There was a voodoo thing involved.   
It doesn’t matter just if anyone asks you have no clue who I am.  
So I came to Texas .  
The portions here are huge. Weasley would love it.  
I’m staying at a lovely bed and breakfast  
I was going to stay a week but I think Texas may be almost as bad as Australia.  
I woke up the other day and found a scorpion just wandering around the room. So I freaked out and set the rug on fire while trying to vanish it.  
Did you know some scorpions are magic resistant?  
Neither did i…  
I ended up smacking it with a book.  
Can you believe that darling...Draco Malfoy had to use muggle means to do something.   
Sends a shiver up my spine...  
Then this morning I woke up to a rather large snake in the tub.  
I screamed and ran out of the bathroom.  
Merlin i wish you had been here to deal with it…  
FYI you are always going to be in charge of dealing with insects and snakes.  
So be prepared.  
I called down to inform them I didn't ask for a snake.  
I was informed that it was normal and it happened.  
Can you believe that???  
So they came up to get it and told me i was lucky it wasn’t a venomous one.  
I wasn’t aware of how many deadly things they had in Texas.  
So long story short i’m leaving Texas.  
The wildlife here makes me to nervous…  
The people have been very nice….everyone calls me sweetie and tells me i’m precious.  
Which of course i am...precious that is.  
I had a very handsome cowboy ask me out to dinner.  
(Harry are you growling?-hermione)  
I of course turned him down and explained to him I was affianced.  
He was understandably very sad...  
No clue where i’m going next...someone suggested Canada.  
They said the wildlife was a bit tamer there.  
Oh well i’ll decide later.  
Well I should probably get dressed.  
I decided to write to you after I got out of the shower so i’m still just wrapped in a towel.  
(Harry stop making that high pitched whining noise you’re upsetting the owls.-hermione)  
Sorry about the birds darling...i tried to use eagles but they wouldn’t go.  
Apparently eagles are very picky and if they don’t like the destination they won’t take the letter.  
Beware of the buzzards they bite...  
I hope everything is going well there darling.

MWAH!!!  
Draco

P.S.

Hermione you owe me i truly pissed off this voodoo mambo to get you the stuff you wanted.  
Also don’t ask me to ever go back...i’ve been banned for life.  
However I wish you lots of luck in your endeavor.  
I also enclosed some other items I thought might help with my loving god father..  
Good Luck...

“Hermione the package is for you.” Harry said right before she snatched the letter and package from him.  
“Oh bollocks I can't believe he got banned…” She said muttering  
“Huh didn’t know that about eagles…” she said   
“Umm Hermione there’s a word i don’t understand..what does that mean?” Harry asked pointing to the word ‘Affianced’  
Hermione chuckled  
“Don’t worry Harry , Draco will explain it to you eventually.” she said smiling  
“Ok” he said sounding confused  
“Come along time for class….” she said primly getting up from the table  
“Ron take bites don’t shove the entire thing in your mouth you’ll choke.” hermione said rolling her eyes at him  
“You look like a demented chipmunk.” she muttered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be adding a bit of others in as well.  
> Just for fun...LOL


	9. Mistress May I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione is very much in charge  
> Harry is still confused  
> Severus is whipped....possibly literally.

One Week Later….

“Mail Harry” Neville said  
“Oh look a stork...Huh interesting.” Hermione said  
Harry took the letter from the bird as it landed.  
Thankfully the letters were coming pretty regular these days.

My Lovely Little Trouble Magnet ,

I am very happy to hear that you’ve been behaving yourself.  
I am visiting Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon.  
Did you know that Yellowstone is just a giant fucking volcano underground??  
Seriously what the hell…  
I came a bit too close to a bear while there….it was a pretty area.  
But man eating wildlife and underground volcanoes just don’t do it for me.  
As for the Grand Canyon...a magical void darling  
You can’t use magic there…  
The only ways to get into the canyon are  
Walk...which yeah NOT happening!  
Or  
A donkey!! Ride on a bloody donkey….they smelled horrible i just couldn’t do it.  
But from the top it was gorgeous….won’t be coming back now that i know it’s a void.  
But yeah pretty.  
So i think i may check out Colorado...not sure yet.  
And it’s very muggy here.  
Seriously when i’m in the hotel room i’ve just been laying around naked.  
So much more comfortable.  
(Harry are you alright?-Neville)  
(Oh he’s fine Neville.-Hermione)  
I bought some new clothes too...light breezy fabrics.  
Very flowy…  
I also found some new underwear they’re called ‘manties’ basically panties for men.  
Oh so very soft and comfortable.  
Leave nothing to the imagination but i love them.  
I’m going to buy several more pairs before I leave.  
(Are you sure he’s ok Hermione-Neville)  
(Oh trust me he is-hermione)  
So very short letter this time darling .  
Not much going thankfully.  
Although a lovely park ranger did ask me out for drinks.  
(Oh Harry you broke the pitcher-Hermione)  
Of Course i turned him down…  
I thought he was going to cry when I told him I was affianced.  
Poor thing!  
Must dash darling….be nice to the stork he’s never been to Scotland before.

Love You MWAH  
Draco

P.S.  
Thanks so much Hermione for the chocolate. The American kind just isn’t the same somehow.  
Hope everything is going well….I’m not calling you Mistress .  
I don’t care what you say .  
Ta lovely  
“How did you send Draco chocolate?” harry asked  
“Oh I always know where he’s at.” hermione said  
Making grabby hands for the letter.  
“Why don’t i always know where he is?” he asked pouting  
“Harry be honest if you knew where he was right now what would you do? Come on honest truth” hermione asked  
“I’d leave and go there.” harry said  
“Exactly...which is why we won’t tell you. Once you graduate then we’ll tell you. I’ll even help you with port keys and such.” she said

“Huh a void how interesting….” she said  
“What does he mean he won’t call you Mistress.?” harry asked  
“Just a little inside joke Harry” Hermione said glancing up at the head table.  
Professor glanced back and then lowered his eyes.  
After a few minutes Professor Snape was walking out of the hall and he stopped by our table.  
“Miss Granger...detention...tonight.” he said  
“But what did she do?” Harry asked  
“Hush Harry” she said  
“Of Course Professor” she said smiling  
He nodded and started to walk away when she said “Good Boy”  
He shivered...then continued out of the hall.  
“Hermione what was that?” Ron asked  
Hermione glanced at Ron….  
“Hmmm oh nothing...Ron can you walk me to detention tonight?” she asked sweetly  
“Yeah sure.” he said smiling  
“Oh good.” she said sounding happy


	10. Authors Note

Just to clarify....These are just for fun.  
Someone asked 'What was that'  
In regards to the end of chapter 9. I had a wild idea and ran with it...i blame insomnia. To add in a bit with Hermione , Snape and Ron With Bondage.... Cause yeah insomnia LMAO I am going more into it in the next chapter. Which i'm currently writing.


	11. Confused And Detained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went off on a tangent  
> Hermione is working out her stress as a domme  
> Yeah i don't know either  
> But hey what the hell LOL

Two Weeks Later

“Um heya Harry i think that’s for you” Seamus said pointing up  
There was a large owl flying across the room but it wasn’t going in a straight line it was kind of wobbly.  
The bird landed on the table and shook itself and held out the letter.  
After Harry took it the bird wandered down the table and started eating some donuts.  
“Well that’s odd.” hermione said looking at the owl  
“Hey I thought you said they couldn’t have donuts?” Ron exclaimed  
“No I said you couldn’t feed them donuts….it’s feeding itself. Leave it alone.” hermione  
“But ..” he said  
“Ronald….” hermione said glaring at him  
“Nevermind ….sorry.” he said looking down at his plate

My Darling Lucious Love Lumps,

I am currently in Colorado….I love this place Harry.  
They have a ritual called 420...It involves marajawana , taco bell and crispy cream.  
It’s so lovely!!  
It’s been so stressful in recent years….or honestly my entire life.  
I know it’s been stressful for you too my handsome cuddly teddy bear.  
I am so relaxed right now….  
I’m just laying here in the room naked eating tacos and donuts and smoking marajawana.  
It’s heaven...the only thing that would make this better is if you were here to pound me into the mattress until I passed out.  
OMG that would be fantastic!  
We have to come back for our honeymoon.  
Get stoned and humped like demented bunnies for days.

(Hermione when did i get engaged- harry)  
(Oh Draco decided that weeks ago-hermione)  
(But why didn’t i know-harry)  
(Oh he would have told you when you needed to know-hermione)  
(So i’m getting married? - harry)  
(Yes - hermione)  
(To Draco? - harry)  
(Well of course to Draco don’t be daft - hermione)  
(Awesome! - harry)

Oh we should bring Hermione, my Uncle and Ron with us when we come here for our honeymoon.  
Tell Hermione i heard of a place here where she can have Ron tied to a cross beam and publicly flogged.

(Why does Drcao think you need somewhere to have Ron flogged?- harry)  
(Did he find somewhere?-hermione)  
(Yeah a place there in Colorado...but why...hey-harry)  
(You can have it back in a minute Harry- hermione)

“Severus we need to go to Colorado after graduation...Draco found somewhere for me to have you and Ron publicly flogged.” hermione called up to the head table  
Ron and Severus both twitched a bit then smiled….Ok creepy  
“Um Hermione” neville asked  
“Yes Neville?” she said  
“Can i join detention?” he asked quietly  
“Well that depends Neville are you a good boy or a bad boy?” she asked running her fingers down his arm  
Neville gulped “Definitely bad” he said  
“Well then you absolutely need detention.” she said patting his hand  
“Yes Pansy…?” hermione asked  
“Please Miss, can i have detention?” she asked  
“Oh yes….we both know you’ve been bad so i won’t bother to ask.” hermione replied  
Severus was walking out of the great hall when Hermione stopped him.  
“Severus dear Neville and Pansy need detention.” she said  
He raised his eyebrow  
“Mr Longbottom….Miss Parkinson detention….don’t be late. Punishments are severe for tardiness.” he said  
“Good Boy” hermione said  
“Dismissed Severus.” she said  
“Yes Mistress , i mean hermione...i mean Miss Granger” he said sounding flustered  
“Here Harry, I'm done with it.” Hermione said, handing Harry back the letter.

“Minerva do you think Severus would give me detention?” Madam Hooch asked  
“I may need detention as well.” Pomona said  
“I need a drink.” Minerva said

Harry went back to reading his letter

Darling I have to end the letter now…  
I need to put on some clothes  
(NO!! - harry)  
(Harry calm down...good grief - hermione)  
Because I've run out of Taco Bell and Crispy Cream so i have to make a munchies run.  
I love and adore you my sexy cuddly snakie wakie…  
We’re definitely coming back for our honeymoon darling.  
I need to hump like demented bunnies with you here..  
Be nice to the bird he’s stoned….Just let him eat whatever.

LOVE YOU BYE ,  
Draco Potter nee Malfoy

P.S.   
Hermione you have to come to Colorado!! Seriously it’s brilliant lovey.  
Ron can feed this bird….  
I found a store that sells lube with marajawana in it...do you want some?? Let me know….HUGS!!!

“Hermione i think i’m going to go take a nap in my Draco blanket” harry said  
“Alright Harry...get some rest” she said  
“Um Hermione one of these days you will explain to me what's going on around here right??” Harry asked  
Hermione reached over and patted harry's hand  
“Of Course i will sweetie….when you're ready.” she said smiling   
“Ok” harry said smiling  
“Have a nice rest in your Draco blanket dear” Hermione called as he left the hall  
“Miss Granger i was wondering….well might i have detention?” Madam Hooch asked  
Hermione looked at her with a raised eyebrow  
“Have you been naughty Rolonda?” hermione asked  
“Oh yes Mistress very naughty…” Rolonda said smiling  
“8pm and Rolonda don’t be late. Wouldn’t want to make Mistress cranky now would we?” hermione said smiling  
Rolonda smiled and walked out of the hall.  
“Hermione, can i feed this bird?? He eats like me” ron asked  
“Oh alright Ron go ahead...but if he vomits on you i don’t want to hear one word...got it?” she said  
“Yes Miss” ron replied  
She watched as Ron wandered after the bird offering it cookies and a tart.  
“Oh good lord!” she said shaking her head


	12. Crups And Cupcakes

Two Weeks Later

“Why hasn’t he written??” harry said banging his head on the table  
“Oh Harry stop being so dramatic.” Hermione said not looking up from her catalog  
“Hmmmm Ron, do you want a purple collar?” she asked of randomly  
“Hermione why does Ron need a collar?” harry asked  
“Hush Harry and eat your breakfast.” hermione said not looking up  
“Severus….black collar with green studs for you? Yes? No?” she called up to the head table  
Everyone turned and looked at Snape  
“I’m waiting Severus” hermione said  
“As my Mistress wishes.” Severus said  
“Good Boy….yes black with green studs then.” she said never once looking up  
“Oh Ron I think pastel rainbow for you.” she said  
“Ummmm” Ron said  
“Big boy words Ronald...Big boy words.” she said  
“Could i have a pink one?” he asked  
Hermione finally glanced up to look at him  
“Hmmmm yes alright you can have pink.” she said looking back down  
Ron smiled  
“Oh look mail.” Ginny called out  
“What kind of bird is that?” Dean asked  
“Oh pelican .” hermione said barely glancing up  
The bird landed in front of Harry dropping a package with a letter attached.  
“Here birdy….come here” ron called  
“Ron don’t make the bird sick remember what happened when the owl sobered up” hermione said flipping pages  
“Ok” ron said

Hello My Darling Prince Of Chaos ,

The package is for Hermione; it's the weed infused lube.  
(Hermione he says this package is for you - harry)  
(Oh really - hermione)  
(Something about weed infused lube - harry)  
/Hermione reached over and snatched the package/  
(Yes!! - hermione )  
(What…-harry)  
(Hush Harry - hermione)  
I had to leave Colorado darling to much of a good thing and all that.  
OMG i can’t stand the sight of Taco Bell right now…  
Anyway I decided to go to Seattle and wander around that area.  
Did you know some vampires sparkle??  
It’s creepy as hell love  
They wander around during the day and if direct sunlight hits them it’s like i’m a rave or something.  
And the werewolves here Harry giant dogs...i kid you not my darling  
And for some reason the werewolves all run around shirtless.  
Don’t get me wrong they’re all very pretty and oh god so fit  
(Harry stop that right now...temper tantrums at your age-hermione)  
But it’s creepy...so i left that area very fast.  
Give me the shivers...but in a bad way  
Unlike you who give me the shivers in a good way….and very inappropriate ways as well.  
(HARRY- hermione)  
So now i’m in Canada...it’s lovely  
I did have something odd happen.  
I met this handsome older man...i forget his name  
(Harry stop making that noise you’re upsetting the house elves-hermione)  
Anyway he asked me if I wanted to see inside his van.  
Had a very stranger danger vibe to it .  
So I said no thank you and left quickly.  
Although his dog was adorable.  
We need to get a dog darling….a cute little crup maybe.  
Married couples usually get dogs to practice before having babies.  
So we should definitely get a dog.  
Plenty of practice before our sprogs arrive.  
(Hermione Dracos talking about babies-harry)  
(That’s nice Harry...i’ll be an awesome Auntie-hermione)  
(But we’re both male-harry)  
(Oh Dracos already work it all out don’t worry-hermione)  
(Was someone going to tell me? - harry)  
(Eventually yes….after all you’ll need to impregnate Draco-Hermione)  
(How exactly will that work?-harry)  
(Draco will explain it when you need to know dear-hermione)  
/reaching over to pat his hand/  
I don’t think i’m going to stay in Canada much longer.  
I know someone said the wildlife was calmer here...but they obviously never met a moose.  
They’re very sensitive darling…  
Anyway i must dash my darling  
Be nice to the bird he’s sensitive about his beak….Please don’t let Ron feed it a bunch of crap dear.

Hedonistically yours,  
Draco

P.S.  
Hermione is he eating alright? What about sleeping? Write me wench and let me know how my sexy dark lord slayer is doing…  
Also please i don’t need to know what you get up to with my godfather.  
I especially don’t need details about Ron….talk about nightmares.  
And make sure everyone knows if they touch Harry i’ll shred them and no one will ever find the pieces.  
Ok Bye Love you...hugs!!

“Here Hermione “ harry said handing her the letter  
“Omg sparkly vampires...ewww….werewolves that are just giant dogs omg creepy. Ron Draco said don’t make the bird sick.  
…..--Sonorus--...  
EVERYONE CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION… HARRY POTTER IS OFF LIMITS. DON’T MAKE ME TAKE A WHIP TO YOU.  
That’s all…--taps throat--” hermione said

Handing Harry back the letter

Rolonda leaned in close to Severus  
“Do you think if we ask nicely she’ll take a whip to us?” she asked  
“Dear Merlin i hope so…”Severus said smiling  
There was a gasp throughout the great hall  
“Professor Snape is smiling” a random Ravenclaw said  
Hermione glanced up  
“Severus behave or no spanking later.” she called up to him  
“Yes Mistress” Severus and Rolonda both said  
“I will separate you both if i have too..” hermione said to them  
Harry made a whining noise  
Hermione sighed  
“What Harry?” she asked  
“When is Draco going to be able to come back?” he asked  
“I don’t know, dear the lawyer is working on it...hopefully soon.” she said  
He dropped his head to the table  
“Harry go cuddle with your draco blanket” she said  
“Ok” he said getting up to walk out  
“Umm Hermione…” ginny asked  
“Yes Ginny” she replied  
“Can i be in detention?” ginny asked  
“Oh ginny I don’t know if i can handle another Weasley.” hermione said  
“But there’s just Ron” ginny said  
“Oh no sweetie...it’s Ron , Fred , George , Percy and Charlie randomly from Romania. I’m not sure if i can handle another one of you...But i tell you why don’t we have a private detention and we’ll see how it goes?” hermione said patting Ginny on the leg  
“Alright” ginny said smiling  
“Proper way to respond to me is??” hermione asked  
“Yes Mistress” ginny said looking down  
“There’s a good girl.” hermione said squeezing the back of ginny’s neck lightly  
“Dear god Ronald….don’t feed the bird that. “ she called over to him   
Where he was trying to feed the bird icing from a cupcake.  
“Why the hell do we even have cupcakes at breakfast anyway...totally barmy” she muttered


	13. They Don't Fly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco is still out and about  
> Hermione is very popular  
> Snape is scaring the kids  
> Minerva is day drinking  
> And Ron needs to leave the post birds alone

One Week Later

“Mails here…” someone called out  
“Heya Harry mail “ seamus said pointing  
“What kind of bird is that?” Dean asked  
“Arctic Tern oh how pretty…” hermione said  
“Hermione why are you in leather?” harry asked  
“Special detention today Harry” she said  
“But …” harry started  
“Hush Harry you’ll upset her.” ron said quietly  
“Good Boy ron “ hermione said  
“Thank You Mistress” Ron said  
“Ginny is that a collar?” harry asked  
“Isn’t it pretty...hermione...I mean Mistress bought it for me.” ginny said smiling and leaning into hermione  
“Such a good girl” hermione said patting ginny on the leg  
Harry took the letter from the tern.  
“Here birdy..” ron called  
“I swear Ronald I'm becoming very concerned with your bird obsession.” hermione said  
“I’ll be good.” he said  
“I should hope so….bad boys get put in time out. Lest we forget.” she said firmly  
“Yes Miss” he said

My Darling Warrior Of Light ,

Well I decided since i was in Canada i’d go through Alaska.  
There is a North Pole Alaska darling.  
Santa's village feel and all.  
Sadly the reindeer here do not fly...very disappointing.  
But it’s adorable darling...when we have the sprogs we absolutely have to bring them one year.  
Omg that reminds me I have been finding the most adorable baby clothes my love.  
It’s so much fun to shop for little ones.  
I also found myself this lovely pair of pj’s ….so very soft and completely see thru.  
I love them. I went back and bought 6 more sets.  
(Harry your head is in your plate again-hermione)  
(Here Harry let me wipe the jam off your forehead-Neville)  
(Good Boy Neville-Hermione)  
(Thank You Miss-Neville)  
I was going to stay for a bit longer but good lord it snows a lot up here.  
And the moose seem a bit tense as well.  
So i’m heading back down into the lower 48 as i believe they call it.  
I thought I'd swing through Salam just to show you some respect for our fallen sisters.  
I found the most interesting thing darling: it's called youtube and it's addictive.  
So now i have a smartphone and an iPad.  
Muggles really are very clever.  
On another note i’m thinking sage green for the nursery...what do you think?  
I mean that works for boys or girls and it still shows respect for Slytherin.  
But I want black furniture with a gothic feel….i’m thinking round cribs.  
And maybe a mural of the forbidden forest on one wall….  
Oh and I heard from my lawyer .  
He said they are making progress and should hopefully have more news soon.  
Probably for the best you have class work anyway darling.  
Be nice to the bird he was conflicted about the trip. Apparently Ron’s getting a bad reputation with post birds.  
Love you my big growly pumpkin!!

Seductively Yours  
Draco

P.S.  
Hermione i heard of a giant sex store i’m going to swing by there when i can there are some things i want to get for me and Harry.  
Send me your wish list !  
Also I can't believe you have ‘detention’ with almost all the weasleys you brave thing you….that’s a huge sea of red.  
And Rolonda...really?? OMG send details...i need details  
hugs….MWAH

“Oh Hermione the lawyer contacted him he may have good news soon” harry said excitedly   
“Oh i’m so glad harry...now give me the letter” she said making grabby hands  
Harry handed over the letter.

“Oh those pj’s sound cute….reindeers that don’t fly, how sad….awww bless baby clothes….the sprogs will be adorable...huh never knew that about a moose….oh the nursery will be lovely …..oh definitely making a list for that store...more lube , new whip….” she muttered  
“Severus, would you like a riding crop...or nipple clamps?? Hermione asked  
Severus thought for a moment then Rolonda whispered to him.  
“I believe Mistress I would prefer the riding crop. Rolonda would prefer it as well.” He said  
“Hmm alright ...there’s a good boy” she said

“Minerva is that firewhiskey? At breakfast?” Pomona asked  
“This place is cursed….I blame Albus...mad old fool jinxed the whole place.” Minerva said tossing the whiskey back in one go  
“Perhaps you need detention Minerva” Rolonda said quietly  
“Look how calm and relaxed Severus is these days.” she said  
“That's true ...i do wish he’d smile less though he’s scaring the children.” minerva said  
“Good Lord Ronald Weasely stop feeding the post birds pure sugar. We’re lucky we haven't gotten a howler about it yet.” Minerva said stalking out of the hall  
“I’m here if you need me Minnie.” hermione said as she passed her  
“Good to know dear.” she responded


	14. Angels and Post Strikes ....Oh My !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah i have no excuse for this chapter....  
> It's just insane

One Week Later

“Aww i’m sorry Harry i guess no mail tod...HEY who are you?” Dean said to the man that appeared out of nowhere.  
“I am an angel of the lord.” the man in the trench coat replied  
“Hello why are you here ?” Hermione asked  
“I have a letter...for Harry” he said  
“I’m Harry” he said  
“It’s from Draco” the angel replied handing him the letter  
“Mr. Angel sir” Ron called  
“Castiel...my name is Castiel” he said  
“Oh Castiel...do you want a cookie?” ron asked  
“A cookie??” Cas replied confused  
“Oh god lord Ron he’s not a post bird” hermione said  
“But angels have wings right?” ron asked  
“Well yes” she said  
She huffed a bit at ron’s hopeful expression.  
“Alright but i’m humoring you….and it’s only because you’re such a good boy.” she said  
“Thank You Mistress” ron said running over to Castiel and pulling him to sit down  
“Here birdy have a cupcake...oh and some pancakes...i’ll fix you a plate” ron said  
“What?” Cas started to ask  
“Castiel Ron likes to feed the post birds that Draco sends...since Draco sent you this time he’s going to be determined to feed you. Just humor him there's a good boy.” hermione said patting Castiel's hand

My Dearest Darling Hunter Of Dark Evils ,

So i’m in Salam….and crazy i meet these hunters.  
Now it doesn’t sound crazy until you hear that they hunt monsters , demons and angels darling.  
Can you believe it?  
I was a bit concerned because hello wizard.  
But we had a chat and one of them was kind of flirty.  
(Harry stop growling you’re upsetting Rons angel-Hermione)  
(Is he possessed - castiel)  
(Oh no just jealous-hermione)  
(here birdy-ron)  
But I explained I was affianced and he took it well.  
Well after the bigger one explained what the word meant.  
Their names are Sam and Dean.  
Oh I couldn't get a post bird to bring my letter apparently they’re on strike because of Ron.  
Castiel however was so lovely and said he’d bring it to you darling isn’t that sweet.  
Apparently he’s Dean's pet angel i think...but they have a strange relationship so i’m not really sure.  
There was this whole thing about Hell and a handprint...no clue love.  
Oh tell Castiel he can have Hermione explain the pizza man to him.  
Thank You darling  
(Castiel Draco said hermione could explain the pizza man-harry)  
(Pizza man?-hermione)  
(Yes if the pizza man loves the babysitter why does he strike her?-castiel)  
(Oh bless you sweet darling...don’t worry i’ll explain everything-hermione)  
So anyway i decided to travel around with the guys for a bit...ya know get the real feel of the US.  
What it’s like to be a muggle….what it’s like to fight evil monsters...ya know as opposed to evil dark wizards.  
And going around to smaller towns I'll be able to find all sorts of cute baby things.  
I thought I had found us a puppy but It was a werewolf cub and I had to give it back.  
Still a bit upset about that darling, it was so cute and cuddly.  
Must dash my darling we’re hunting vampires today...such fun.  
I Love you soooo very much my darling harry  
MWAH  
Draco

P.S.   
Hermione these hunters are so hot!! They would benefit from detention with you. Serious daddy issues!!  
Did you know that angels did porn?? I kid you not...one of Castiel's brothers did porn...Casa Erotica  
I was blown away...i want kielbasa now...i don’t even know what it is but i want some.  
And please explain the pizza man thing to the poor dear.   
Love you bye mwah

“Here hermione” harry said handing her the letter  
“Are you alright Harry?” hermione asked  
“I’m not sure how i feel about Draco hunting vampires or traveling around with good looking hunters.” harry said  
Hermione read the letter  
“Hunters….monsters….angels….post bird strike….BLOODY HELL RON THE POST BIRDS ARE ON STRIKE BECAUSE OF YOU…..angels doing porn...really?? ….wow….what is kielbasa?” hermione muttered  
“Harry dear, I wouldn't worry this is Draco. He is devoted to you ...not to mention the years he already has invested in you.” she said  
“Well that’s true.” harry said  
“Of Course it is...now eat your breakfast.” she said glancing over at ron  
“Ron please don’t overfeed your angel...remember he’s just borrowed. We have to give him back to Dean.” she informed him  
“Yes Miss” ron said  
“Now Castiel dear, I have special detention with Severus after breakfast. You can come with me and I'll explain the pizza man and the babysitter.Ok?” she asked  
“Yes” Cas replied  
Ron and Ginny both leaned in and whispered in his ears  
“I mean yes Mistress.” Castiel corrected himself  
“Aww bless how sweet.. Such a good boy you are.” hermione said watching Castiel preen a bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I handling the end Supernatural just fine....i'm not crying and clinging onto the impala!!


	15. Absent Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I no clue what i'm doing at this point....

The Next Day…..

“Hermione why is Professor Snape sitting at our table and why is he nuzzling you?” harry asked confused  
“Now Harry be nice Severus is feeling a bit vulnerable today and needs extra cuddles. Isn’t that right precious?” hermione says  
“Yes Miss” Severus says without looking up  
“Good Boy here eat this darling” hermione says hand feeding Severus  
“Hermione why is the angel still here? I thought Ron had to give him back? To that Dean person.” Harry asked, glancing over to where Castiel was eating and talking in low tones with Ginny and Ron.  
“Oh well Castiel is going through a bit as well….He requested Special Detention today….so he can really understand the pizza man.” she said feeding Seveus another bite  
“Pizza man??” harry asked  
“Oh darling Draco will explain it later.” she said  
…..-----flash---....  
“Yo Bro what the hell? Deans been praying up a storm trying to find you.” the new angel said  
“Who are you?” Neville asked  
“I’m Gabriel cutie.” he said winking  
“Oh are you the one that did Casa Erotica?'' Hermione asked, sounding intrigued.  
“You’ve heard of me?” he said preening   
“Draco mentioned it...but i haven’t seen it yet. He seemed impressed.” she said  
“Oh the hot blond hanging around with the moose and squirrel. I’ll have to thank him personally.” he said winking  
Harry stood up quickly  
“You will bloody well will not he’s a married man….Keep your feathers off of my husband!!” harry said  
A random hufflepuff ran into the hall  
“It’s raining frogs!! And the lightning is going sideways….are we under attack again??Is there another dark lord??” he asked panting  
“Harry calm down before you do serious damage to the planet.” hermione said  
“But Hermione…” harry said  
“Harry breath….do you want to cuddle with Neville?” she asked  
“I mean...maybe” harry said pouting  
“Neville dear there’s a good boy.” she said  
Neville switched sides of the table and wrapped his arms around Harry.  
“It’s ok Harry...Draco wouldn’t do anything with him he has you.” he said patting Harry’s back softly  
“I am so confused right now and that’s rare for me.” Gabriel said  
“Umm Cas can we go?” he asked  
“No, I have detention today.” Castiel said eating pancakes and cupcakes  
“Cas you don’t go to school here” gabriel said  
“But i requested detention” he said with icing on his chin  
“WHAT?? WHY???” gabriel asked  
“Perhaps I can help...see Castiel is conflicted about the pizza man and the babysitter. So he has special detention with me so we can work out his confusion.” hermione explained  
“Cas??” gabriel asked  
“I need to understand...i watched detention with Severus yesterday but i feel that i need to go through it myself to truly understand how they both felt. Although i did learn a lot yesterday.” Castiel said  
“What did you learn exactly?? “ he asked  
“Always have a safe word…..consent is everything….after care is mandatory.” Castiel said  
Everyone nods as he lists things off.  
“Ok wait i thought this was like a school….school….i’m confused” gabriel said  
“Trust me I can relate.” Minerva said walking past him to leave the hall  
“If you’d like, I have firewhiskey in my office.” she added  
“Oh yeah this definitely calls for booze. I'm with you honey.” gabriel said following Minerva out   
They all watched them walk out…  
“Harry do you want Neville to go get your Draco blanket…” hermione asked  
“Yes” he said from where his head was tucked into Nevilles shoulder  
“I”ll go get it Miss that way Neville can stay with Harry.” ginny said getting up  
“Such a good girl...thank you dear.” hermione said smiling at ginny  
She watched ginny skip out of the hall  
“Now i want everyone to remember...I have special detention but afterwards we have study hall for N.E.W.T.S  
Younger years are welcome in study hall….if needed we can get you a tutor for whatever subject you’re having issues with.” Hermione informed everyone while pushing a plate to Neville  
“Neville you and Harry both need to eat.” she said  
“Yes Miss” Neville said  
“Ok ‘Mione” harry said  
“I am so busy people just have no clue…” she said feeding Severus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for nothing....NOTHING!!!


	16. Angel , Demon and Stolen Flamingos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minerva isn't day drinking anymore  
> Castiel is finding himself  
> Deans Freaking out  
> Draco is horny  
> Ron's obsessed  
> And Harrys just confused...

One Week Later….

“Mails here” Someone called  
“Oh Harry i’m sure you’ll get something soon..” Hermione said  
“No I won't, he's hanging around with hot , fit demon hunters .” harry said with his head on the table  
“Heya Harry, don't be upset, Malfoys always been obsessed with you. I doubt he’s going to give up now that he’s got you.” seamus said  
“Exactly harry….ahhhhhh...who are you?” Neville asked sounding scared  
“Oh are you another angel? Because we don’t have room for any more angels we already have two.” Hermione said waving her hand in the directions of the two angels in question.  
The man in question glanced in the directions she waved her hand in.  
In one spot he saw Gabriel cuddled up to an older witch with his arm around her shoulders.  
And in the other he saw Castiel sitting between two redheads chatting and eating cookies and pie.  
“What in the bloody hell is going on here?” he said  
“Crowley why are you here?” Castiel asked  
“Oh let’s see one angel goes missing after delivering a letter so they send the other angel to find him and that angel goes missing.  
In addition to that apparently the post birds are still on strike and the blond hanging around with moose and squirrel needed a letter delivered.” crowley informed them  
He said waving a package around..  
“I’m on vacation….to find myself” Castiel said  
“I’m supporting his desire to find himself , oh and shagging Minnie while I do it.” Gabriel said  
“Oh Gabriel behave…” Minerva said giggling  
“Oh baby it’s hard around you..here want to feel.” he said wiggling his eyebrows  
“Did the professor just giggle” a ravenclaw asked  
“That’s scarier than Professor Snape smiling.” another Ravenclaw replied  
“My letter!!” harry said jumping up   
“Are you Potter?” Crowley asked  
“Yes” harry said  
Crowley tossed him the box.  
“Are you two idiots planning on coming home anytime soon.?” he asked  
“No clue ...are we Cas??Gabriel called  
“Yes soon….I think i need one more week.” Castiel said  
“If that’s ok with you Mistress?” Castiel asked quietly  
“Oh of course it is lovey. I’m here for you.” hermione said  
Castiel smiled around his cupcake.  
“I’m curious, are you an angel?” hermione asked Crowley  
“No demon and King of Hell….I can’t believe i’m delivering mail.” he said  
“Do you need to talk dear? I’m here for you…..” hermione said  
“Mr Demon do you like cookies?” ron asked  
“Oh god lord Ron really?” hermione sighed  
“Please Miss” ron asked  
“Oh all right but only if he wants to . No force feeding.” she said  
“Here demon birdy….come have some cookies. Do you like to cuddle?” ron asked  
Crowley looked confused “What the bloody hell is going on here?? What is this damn place? And no i don’t cuddle i’m a demon.” he said  
Ron looked like he was going to cry….suddenly he wrapped Crowley in a hug.  
“That’s so sad that you can’t cuddle demon birdy” he said  
“I’m not a bird.” Crowley said  
Ginny wrapped him in a hug from the other side...seeing what they were doing Castiel got up and wrapped him in a hug from behind.  
“Awww bless ….how sweet! But remember consent...alright if he doesn’t want to cuddle you respect his boundaries.” hermione said  
“Yes Miss….” ron , ginny and Castiel all said at once  
“Mistress “ Severus asked walking up to the table  
“Yes Severus?” she responded  
“I feel the need to cuddle someone.” he said carefully  
“OMG Severus that’s wonderful darling….I’m so proud right now I could cry. Now do you want to cuddle Neville? Rolonda? Or someone else?” she asked  
“I wish to cuddle you Mistress.” he said quietly  
“Awww come here darling….i’ll take such good care of you.” she said holding out her arms to him  
Severus almost ran to throw himself into her lap.   
“Such a good boy...my Severus” she cooed 

Harry just shook his head and opened his letter..leaving the package for last.

My Love , My Life...Future Father Of My Sprogs,

Where the hell are the angels Harry? Seriously has Ron tried to keep them as well??  
He has to give them back Dean is very upset….he hates flying but he’s talking about coming to Scotland to get Castiel back.  
He may let him keep Gabriel...Send word back with Crowley.  
FYI darling he’s a cranky demon.  
/Harry glanced at Crowley who was still surrounded but now he was crying/  
(And she sold me for 3 pigs...3 i was worth at least 4 i could juggle-crowley)  
(Of Course you were...i bet you were an adorable sprog-ginny)  
(Do you want us to hex your mum?-ron)  
(I believe you would have been worth at least 5 pigs-castiel)  
Seriously darling the post birds are still on strike without the angels i can’t get you letters.  
Upside finding lots of baby things….Oh i thought i had found the crib but it turned out to be cursed.  
So Sam and Dean had to salt and burn it.  
So disappointing darling….i cried while smoldered.  
I’m running out of space darling so i’m sending some of the baby stuff to you.  
Just stuff it in your trunk for me dear.  
On another note completely , i would love to have you stuff something in my trunk...wink wink  
(Harry what is that noise...breath-hermione)  
I’m starting to feel a bit pent up darling….i NEED you to shag me till i pass out so badly you have no clue.  
(Harry stop banging your head like that-hermione)  
The lawyer says he’s got it almost fix my dear darling future sprog maker.  
So make sure you eat right and get plenty of rest.  
Because when i get back you’re shagging me for days harry….days!!  
On another note I found us a puppy...granted it’s part hellhound but it's very sweet and oh so cuddly.  
You’re going to love him!!  
You’ll get used to the red eyes and fire breath...  
Well I'm getting into my special sexy Pjs and I'm going to have lovely naughty dreams about you darling.  
Do you think we could have sex on a broom?? Maybe not  
Oh a flying carpet...we could have sex on a flying carpet!  
We need a flying carpet darling…..  
I’m going now darling…..you handsome sexy beast of a wizard you.  
When i get back there i’m going to lick you like lolli till you scream.  
But a good scream…  
Love you darling   
MWAH

Love The Future Mum To Your Sprogs,  
Draco

P.S.  
Hermione seriously where are the angels?? Do you know i got a letter about the flamingo...yeah still hasn’t been returned darling..  
I think it’s time we admit Ron has a problem…  
How’s detention going???  
Is Minerva still day drinking??  
Write Witchy Woman!!  
Love you BYE….hugs!

“Hermione does Ron still have the flamingo?” harry asked  
“What do you mean?” she asked  
Harry handed her the letter and opened the package.  
“OMG RON DO YOU STILL HAVE THE FLAMINGO?” she yelled  
“But Miss he doesn’t want to go back” ron cried  
“Cursed crib...awww sad….missing angels...oh lord….a flying carpet...hmmm maybe….oh lovely the lawyer may have good news soon.” she muttered  
Hermione glanced up and checked on everyone.  
Oh Bother they’ve hijacked the demon now as well….

“Hey hermione look at these.” harry called  
He was holding up tiny onesies…  
“Awww bless….how sweet...oh look at that one ‘my daddy Ak’d the dark lord’ omg so cute “ she said looking through the onesies   
As she was looking at them she heard running feet and giggles.  
When she looked up she saw Minerva running and Gabriel following her.  
“Oh i’m going to catch and when i do i’m gonna give you some kielbasa,” he said cackling  
“Oh Gabriel “ minerva said laughing as she ran  
“You can run baby but i’m gonna get ya’” he said  
Everyone in the hall shuddered….  
“Oh My!! Well upside she's not day drinking.” hermione said

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah No Clue....


	17. Authors Note

I think a little later on i'm going to be doing a seperate story.  
With the letters Hermione writes to Draco.  
And more detailed stuff about detention...  
If anyone would be interested in reading it.  
Please let me know in the comments.

Thanks so much :)


	18. Authors Note

Hello 

Just a quick note i just posted a chapter for the spin off of the story  
Called "Letters From The Edge Of Chaos"  
Let me know if you like....


	19. Authors Note

HI

I took a few days off from writing for a small sanity break LOL  
I think i was just over doing it and trying to keep up with to much at once.  
So i'm going to be dealing with certain stories on certain days starting this week.  
So that i don't get overwhelmed again.  
I'm going to start posting again on Monday.  
Hopefully i will be updating everything i am currently working within in the next few days.  
I hope everyone is having a great weekend .  
<3


End file.
